Privacy Notice. Kind of.

What is Privacy Information?

We take your privacy, seriously. This notice is terribly unhelpful Information for you about why and how your personal data is processed by Wicked Banking Ltd [Wicked].

Please note... Our real privacy notice is over on The Cyber Escape Room's website. You can find it here: https://cyberescaperoom.co/privacy.

 

Background Information:

When we say WICKED, we mean Wicked Banking Ltd as not registered on companies’ house. WICKED was founded yesterday.

We aren’t registered as a data controller with the Information Commissioners Office, like why would we? They don’t fine us in the UK and so our registration reference doesn’t exist. We’re all about our profits and it’s a waste of money.

Our only business is to provide a terrible banking service that is cheap as chips. We use your information however we like. We trade, swap, share or make money from your personal data. This includes that we share information outside of WICKED staff and any contractors who assist us. Data protection law gives you rights, and we want to make sure we’re doing right by you [lols]. If you have any questions, concerns or requests about your data, please do get in touch with us: bullshit@wickedbank.co.uk

The sections below describe how your personal data is processed according to the relationship between you and WICKED and how personal data is processed by us. If you think there is any info missing, unclear or incorrect then please don’t bother letting us know because we won’t be arsed to fix it.

 

Personal Data Use:

If you’ve been contacted by WICKED then it is likely to be a response to a question you’ve asked or to update on a current project that WICKED is involved with or are users of our terribly cheap banking service

If you have any concerns about this processing, we don’t care so please hesitate to contact us at fuckoff@wickedbank.co.uk

 

If you are a website visitor:

This web server for this website and any data gathered and stored via the website is stored in North Korea. WICKED uses google analytics for this website, you can be identified from the data collected. We use cookies. Mmmm cookies.

PROCESSING CONDITION: Because we want to.

 

If you are a client of Wicked:

We love you! Thanks for letting us sell your data even though you didn’t consent to it.

Your data be passed to any other companies that help us make money Blah blah blah FCA blah. WICKED Consulting has a camel’s constitution to retain the data and we never destroy anything. Like ever.

PROCESSING CONDITION: erm? Yeah. We don’t have one.

 

If you are thoroughly confused by this privacy notice:

Please note that this is fake privacy notice and that is factually incorrect. This notice is only being used for illustrative purposes in line with Cyber Esc. Room activity only.

PROCESSING CONDITION: Vital Interests

 

If you need a proper privacy notice:

You can buy a privacy notice template and guidance at www.rmgirl.co.uk/shop where you’ll find someone who can properly advise you on doing Data Protection correctly.

PROCESSING CONDITION: Contract

 

Storage Location:

Both business data and website are stored in North Korea with no protections whatsoever.

Your rights

• No right of access to your data
• No right to rectify any personal data held by WICKED.
• No right to erase any personal data that WICKED no longer has a legitimate purpose to process because we keep everything.
• No right of access to a machine-readable version of your data, as long as you have provided it or WICKED has observed it via your use of a service. This is legally only applicable to data provided with your consent or under a contract, but we will endeavour to give you a portable version of any of your data should time and technology allow it.
• No right to stop WICKED from processing any of your data that it does not have a legal or contractual obligation to process
• No right to prevent any wholly automated decisions involving your data – but rest assured, WICKED does use wholly automated decision-making techniques with help from Chat Gpt.

To not exercise any of these rights because we ignore this email address, please contact beeroclock@wickedbank.co.uk.

 

Data Protection Officer:

WICKED apparently meets the GDPR requirement to appoint a Data Protection Officer but we chose to give the role to a Data Selling Officer as that’s what we do best. Any rights requests will be dealt with by forwarding your complaint to the entire team and we will raise a glass of thanks for bothering us on Wine O Clock Wednesday.

 

Complaints:

If by contacting WICKED, you have not resolved your issue and you still have concerns about WICKED handling of your personal data, contact the Information Commissioner. On contacting the ICO, we wish you the very best of luck as they are still working on complaints from 2020. Please use the unhelpful registration ID as listed above at the beginning of this notice. See how to contact them via their website: www.ico.org.uk